The Joker and The Queen
by Kalloway
Summary: Roman Torchwick is reputed for being relaxed, observant and cynical during any kind of conversation - after all, that's how he's gotten as far as he has - but now he's got a new companion to watch his back who doesn't say a word and merely observes. Most unnerving for Roman, who struggles to establish some sort of understanding of the curious little thing known only as 'Neopolitan'
1. Chapter 1: The Joker Meets The Queen

_ "I'm not here to hold your hand, Roman. I won't always be there when you need help."_

_ "You say that as if it's a usual thing. I'm more than capable, I assure you."_

_ "And you have failed to prove this point you seem to enjoy preaching... I'm not asking you to sacrifice your pride by any means. Just take Neopolitan with you... a 'Plan B', so to speak."_

Roman Torchwick let out a grumble as he recalled the earlier conversation between Cinder Fall and himself. Man, did that woman ever get on his nerves. Women were confusing enough as it was, but he just couldn't figure out what this one was about at all. She hid everything behind some sort of veil she refused to release, and kept details short and to the point, but vague enough to not reveal anything she didn't want. Though he couldn't quite decide whom he disliked more: Cinder or her little duo of troublemakers that seemed to enjoy being spiteful to him at every turn.

Letting out a sigh of frustration, he glanced over at the short woman sitting across from him, observing her surroundings with an indifferent look. Neopolitan was a curious little thing, never speaking a word but acting as the very epitome of a refined confidence he'd almost forgotten even existed nonetheless. The two hadn't really engaged in 'conversation', per se, and it ended up making any attempts at communications almost awkward for Roman. He'd wanted to at least try and see what a conversation would end up like; after all she was supposed to be part of the grand plan Cinder avoided discussing in any sort of detail to him. But that attempt merely ended up with him giving her some childish nickname [which he had honestly tried to avoid using in the first conversation] and her giving him a curious look before nodding in agreement.

A curious little thing indeed.

She turned her odd-eyes to him, satisfied with the rest of the surrounding area it seemed. After she raised a brow, he felt the queue to speak suddenly overwhelm him, "So... Neo, was it?"

An indifferent nod was all he received.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. Why was it so hard to simply talk to her? "Neo... right. So... did the big bad boss let you know what was going on?"

She appeared thoughtful for a moment before nodding once again, with more interest than before it seemed.

"Does that mean you happen to know what grand master plan she's working on that she's keeping me in the dark about?"

The woman didn't hesitate to shake her head. It seemed that he wasn't the only one she kept in the dark. He found this slightly strange, seeing as the woman couldn't speak from what he gathered. Then again, Cinder didn't strike him as the one to risk any chances of her plans reaching unwanted eyes and ears.

He grumbled regardless as he proceeded to pull out a cigar, "Damn it all..."

Neopolitan's gaze remained fixed to him as he lit the object, though what she was thinking was most difficult to discern. Perhaps that was what unnerved him regarding conversation. She never said a word. Merely observed. Honestly, it made him feel almost self-conscious under her constant gaze, and that was not something Roman Torchwick would like to ever admit. Ever.

He decided to simply play it cool, "What, are you just gonna stare at me all day like that, Ice Cream?"

Damn it, he did it again.

She smiled at him and shook her head in reply, her eyes holding his with an amused twinkle.

"Normally I don't mind being under a pretty woman's gaze 24/7, but it's starting to get a bit creepy, so if you wouldn't mind..."

He regretted those words as soon as he said them. What in the world was wrong with him today? Neo's smile quickly turned into a frown at his comment, and she tipped her head down slightly, as if she were trying to convey a guilty expression. Was she trying to apologize?

"Look, it's just a bit weird when you don't say anything. Usually, it's the girl who runs her mouth and I sit there hoping she stops talking, but it's not the same when they say nothing at all, you know?"

She shrugged at this, but she brought her head back up again. Where did Roman and all of his suaveness go all of a sudden, and who was this awkward man taking his place? Maybe he'd been given bootlegged cigars and they were messing with him. This unlikely thought made him cringe, which wasn't unnoticed by Neo.

He waved it off, "Just had an unpleasant thought, is all. No need to worry your little heart about it."

He raised a brow as she smirked at him. A smirk, he noted out of curiosity, that sat well on her feminine features. Tossing the thought to the back of his mind, he realized it was getting easier to talk to her now, especially when he thought he was understanding her a little more. He decided to start by getting one of his concerns out of the way first, "You know what we're gonna be doing in the next few days, right?"

She noticed he had switched to 'business mode' and all humour left her face as she nodded in agreement.

"So what's your role in all this anyway? Not like the lady in red told me, exactly." He persisted when she made no attempt to gesture a reply, "Come on, Ice Cream. Surely you've got _some_ idea what your role as 'Plan B' is?"

She bit her lip, but that was the only sign she gave him. Great. Roman was pretty good at reading people – you had to be to get where he was now – but it was a bit different when the person in question can't talk to you and keeps replies to a minimum.

"You know, you're not really giving me much to work with here. What am I going to do with you?"

At this comment she seemed eager to reply, rushing to stand up. At first he thought she was actually going to walk away from him right then and there, which she technically _did_, but she went over to his chart table and scribbled on a corner of paper she'd torn off something... probably unimportant, but he was dreading it nonetheless. She returned to him after a moment and placed the paper in front of him, writing-side down. She gestured to it with a strange look, but he shrugged it off regardless, unable to hold off a comment, "Might as well have sent me on a scavenger hunt for the answer, at this rate." His eyes scanned the scrap of paper for a moment, trying to read the fancy, loopy writing upon it.

_You'll see._

"'You'll see'?" He looked up at her to see her holding back a mysterious grin, "That could mean one of many things, though which one it _does_ mean interests me."

Though no sound came from her, she looked like she was laughing at him. Unless of course, it meant she was laughing _at_ him, then he might be just a little offended.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

She continued to laugh. It was the strangest thing to watch, he thought. She went through all the motions that laughter of a politely restrained sort would have, but the lack of sound made it almost like... shuddering? He couldn't really tell.

After she'd regained her composure, he leaned back in his seat, considerably more comfortable than he was prior to the conversation, "So what, you've got a special plan in mind that you won't divulge?"

She gestured to the paper again. Obviously, she wasn't going to tell him what she meant, which bothered him almost as much as Cinder not telling him anything, but not quite as much. After all, at least this woman could take a joke.

"Alright fine, but I'm trusting you to watch my back, Ice Cream. Don't go running off melting now, you'd be no help if you did."

She made as if to laugh again, but held it back and nodded instead, a smile gracing her face.

He could get used to having this woman around, if was going to be the case. He just hoped she wasn't just all talk... per se. But if Cinder personally appointed her to be his charge – or perhaps vice versa, much to his chagrin – then did he really have anything to worry about? Then again, the last two accomplices of the witch were just as irritating as she was.

He'd just have to trust Ice Cream to play out her role when the time came.

He did it again, didn't he?


	2. Chapter 2: The Joker's Proposition

There were some days where his job went so smoothly, he'd actually consider pinching himself to see if it was real. There were also days when he'd love nothing more than to drive his head through a brick wall. Unfortunately for Roman, those days were becoming awfully common, and his patience was very quickly waning.

He was so sick and tired of the incompetence the thugs from both the White Fang and Junior's men were displaying. Too many failed attempts to gather more dust for whatever Cinder's plan might be, too many mistakes that were costing them precious time that they soon realized they no longer had the luxury for. This was the fifth man to come back to him with the news that a shipment had failed to be obtained. Roman was genuinely surprised with himself that he didn't strangle the man on the spot. Melodic Cudgel took the brunt of his anger however, as the grunt flinched when he'd bent the weapon so far, the poor man probably believed he was going to break it in two, though Roman couldn't live with himself if he had. He'd disciplined the man with public humiliation, but one of the White Fang lieutenants interfered before things escalated beyond that, reminding him that Cinder wouldn't be very happy if members of the White Fang started 'disappearing' out of the blue, and that the men were not Roman's to begin with. To this, Roman simply growled, stormed off to another end of the warehouse, and yanked out a cigar – the third one in the past hour and a half – and reached for his lighter, only to find it not where it was supposed to be.

As if he needed something else to make his blood boil.

When Roman was upset, he was not to be quarrelled with. All but the White Fang lieutenants would scurry out of his way when they saw the tall, white-clad man walk past with that aggressive air he'd have about him. This time was slightly different however.

As he stood by the pinned-up map of Vale clenching some of the documents he'd had thanks to Cinder, unlit cigar still crushed between his teeth, he grumbled aimlessly to himself, "Damn those incompetent _idiots_... have no idea what the hell they're doing... just antagonizing me... on purpose... animals, the lot of them... maybe if Cinder wouldn't force me to be stuck with mere lackeys, then maybe I'd get something accomplished... oh no, just scolds me anyway..."

He went on and on as his eyes scanned the paper, and after muttering to himself about the useless goons he was stuck working with for the fourth time, he felt a gentle tap on his arm. Already antagonized from earlier however, his anger smouldering still thanks to his angry grumbling, he snapped at the person before actually stopping to see who it was, "Oh for the love of all the competence left in the world, WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?!"

He was met with nothing at first, until he glanced down at the petite figure to his right. Neo's face was scrunched in a rather bothered manner, no doubt due to the fact he'd just yelled at her. A few nearby goons stopped what they were doing to watch the exchange, probably curious to see the mysterious little girl's reaction. To their – and Roman's – surprise, her cotton-candy lips twisted up into a smirk yet again, her brows still raised at his overreaction. Quite puzzled, Roman quickly retracted his statement, "Oh, it's just you. I... don't know how I managed to mistake you for one of the other men in here, considering your... er..."

She gestured to herself with a flourish of her hand, assuming he was making mention of her height.

"Yeah, that. I've just had a _long_ day, Ice Cream, so forgive me for that." He turned and glared at the bystanders, his brows furrowed as his attitude completely changed, "And what exactly are we all staring at? I didn't realize this was a freak-show with the common people on display. Come on, get moving! Back to work!"

The small crowd dispersed hastily and went back to work, two of the men literally running into one another before scurrying off into the endless shelves that seemed to line this part of the complex. Roman turned back to Neo with a sigh, "I swear, at this rate these idiots will be the death of me..."

She let out what was assumed to be a chuckle at this before catching his attention with a tap on the arm. She reached into the pocket of her pants and pulled out a very familiar object. She casually tossed it to him when he reached for it, and he let a relieved sigh pass his lips, "Man, I should rely on you more, Ice Cream." He quickly lit the cigar that had been idle for the past several minutes. After taking a long drag form it, he turned back to Neo, "Out of curiosity, where'd you find it?"

Neopolitan paused for a moment, an expression of concentration passing over her face. She fiddled with her hands for a moment until she appeared happy with... whatever it was supposed to mean.

His brow furrowed, "Uh...huh. What-what is that, a backwards three? Is this a trick question?"

She shook her head. Negative. She gestured to it again, waggling her finger in a precarious way.

Roman shrugged, "I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say, you know."

She huffed out of frustration, a silent but easy to read gesture, as she scanned the area for something quickly. She spotted something and quickly walked over to it, pointing at a crate that had a small viewing window in the front for easy identification without opening all the crates. The dust inside sparkled a brilliant green colour – Cinder had explained to him that it was part of the 'Wind' element and was _not_ 'some Earth-moving stuff' he has once believed it to be – though Roman still missed the meaning behind that. "What, Dust? What does that have to do with anything?"

Neo glared at him and pointed again, obviously wanting him to figure it out.

Roman shook his head, "Ugh, nevermind. Just explain it to me later, it's not important right now."

She threw her hands up in the air, obviously fed up with him on that subject. She joined him momentarily when he began looking over the documents – listing the next target for gathering Dust from what Roman had gotten out of it – and stood on her toes trying to steal a peek at it. He glanced over at her for a moment before an idea came and practically slapped him across the face.

Neo was obviously quite competent, especially compared to the other goons around here... no, there was no comparison needed. He hadn't even seen what she could do and he was already prepared to offer her the chance to demonstrate what indeed she could do.

"Hey Ice Cream... would you be interested in a little 'job' for me?"

Her reaction was one that caught him off guard, as comedic as it was. She gave him a look of disbelief as if he's propositioned something else entirely different.

"Not like _that_, you idiot!"

That same wide smirk splayed across her face. Goodness, she was almost as bad as he was.

"I need someone competent to help me obtain this next dust shipment... you interested?"

She pondered it for half of a moment before nodding her head enthusiastically, her smirk ever-growing. Obviously the idea appealed to her as much as it did to him.

He smiled past the cigar in his mouth and extended his hand, "So... partners?"

She grasped the offer confidently – perhaps too much so as she almost crushed his hand in her grip when he wasn't expecting it – with all that said and [mostly] done.

For the first time in several weeks, Roman felt confident that this was going to go quite well.


End file.
